Wow, it’s been a very busy week! Mjao and I ended up attending a friend’s wedding over the weekend, getting more stuff taken care of and planned for our home, working on more art-type stuff for other large projects. I got to thinking about how a particular link that popped up in conversation I had to share with My Experiment and a few other people. It had to do with a bit of feminist gushing over Sailor Moon, and then MorgueDweller and I got to talking about how very rare things that positive are made available to girls. I learned so much more about being a confident woman in control of my own life and relationships from Sailor Moon and other magical girls than anybody in “the scene” could try to impart upon me with as many links to Elise Sutton had been sent my way by guys who tried to tell me as a woman I was enjoying and controlling my own sexuality wrong. (I’ll let you try and wrap your brain around the logic in that… Head hurts, doesn’t it?)
I’d learned it was okay to be so feminine and still be that strong. I learned there was an immense power in femininity and I could draw upon that power within myself, regardless of how foofy or tomboyish I could be. I learned of the wisdom and influence that compassion offered to others, and how that could change the world around me. I learned that a man who supports m decisions and is willing to give his service, time, love and life is not weaker for giving himself to me, especially if I’m “taking the reigns” on the relationship. Why? Because we both trust each other and he’s strong enough to give himself, be able to take what comes his way and learn from me. I know that he respects me as an equal first and has the knowledge in himself to know when to turn to and pledge his efforts to me. I learned that I didn’t have to change myself into something more to other people’s liking in order to be loved. The only person I change for is myself, to act for the greater good and teach others to do the same. Usagi in Sailor Moon was the one who had to find and rescue the princess, only to discover that the princess is herself. When you think about the message that offers to young people… Look within yourself as a hero, only you can truly save yourself. Although, she was never alone in this search. There was a great diversity of personalities and loved ones that created this beautiful solidarity among the women in this series. They didn’t rely on men to validate themselves, they didn’t need other people to tell them they were beautiful and that great strength of spirit and this… Family they built of so many, was very moving.
Strong, independent, loving, able to revel in the joy and power of my own femininity and compassion…! This is what I felt in my heart and what drove me. This is what I felt was me and showed the most authority and control. So much more can be accomplished with a stroke than a punch, but don’t be afraid to punch if the time comes. Not being told to be ashamed, cowardly, subservient or weak as many try to thrust the idea that “feminine” is. Being proud of the beauty both within and without, the strength and perseverance of a compassionate heart, the gentle aspects of my personality were nothing to hide or be mocked. That’s one thing I do have to say, I never got about cross-dressing as “humiliation.” A get the idea that a man may feel a bit silly at first, but one of the things I find so intriguing about it is moving past that initial silly feeling to explore more of the gentle and cuddly aspects of his personality and be able to eventually feel comfortable and not less manly for it, but proud that he can find that beauty and tranquility in himself as well. I finally found at least a few guys who are into it with that kind of thought process, but for every one man who is, there seems to be another fifteen who are into it to be “taken down a peg” to the “place of a woman” which is cowardice, being used and degraded, worthless to them and look to it as a way to put a stamp of approval on their own misogyny and are angry when they get questioned about why they feel that way about women. Being girly isn’t easy, but it can be awesome! I love being able to share that with people. All that beauty and being able to explore the idea that gender is a lot more about the mind and fluidity than first appearance. Another concept that was first introduced to me at a young age with magical girls and writings that I started to look at through that first feminist lens, even though I wasn’t sure what to call it since I felt that empowerment is so very important to women, but it seemed everybody’s got something holding them back in our society in some way. Even the privileged are discouraged from growth because it might upset things too much. People needed love to rescue themselves…
I learned that I can be who I want and I don’t need to prove myself as powerful through other people or some apparatus. I don’t need to put on different clothes that don’t really communicate me to please other people, such as latex corsets or stuff like that. I don’t need to change how I act for anybody else, I show affection the way I do which is sometimes very fluffy and sometimes a bit aggressive. It’s still me, and I always has the best interest of those I love in my mind when I act. I often would be told I’m in charge of my own life and relationships wrong because it didn’t meet a marketed fantasy from somebody who deep down didn’t care about what affects women. Telling them things like if they don’t have anything penis-like they can’t truly have power in a relationship, or that things that are feminine are demeaning and if they felt otherwise they were simply… Wrong for being. That there’s no power in their own souls and a man can never love you for the you that you are, but you have to be somebody else’s idea… Which often times was more of a vilification of women and the idea that “power corrupts them” kind of thing which played on the idea that men should fear women and at the same time find them inferior in so many ways… Sounded an awful lot like an idea of removing women from their passions all over again. And eventually, I found that I wasn’t alone in that observation. Although, I still tend to be outside of a lot of things in what is considered the sex culture in my country since so much of it is based on the sex industry, which is rather oppressive and strangely anti-sex. (I’ll probably have a lot of posts on that in the future.) But when I started explaining to some that I’d met about how I felt I’d learned more about showing my love and taking lead on relationships from things like Sailor Moon, Magic Knight Rayearth, my constant re-reading of The Little Prince, my obsession with the idea of wielding magic… That “magic” was in my heart with my ability to see things, change minds of people around me and my art. Anybody who says I have to change into something I don’t want to be in order to be loved is someone who sad enough… Probably has no love to give, not even to themself. I change for me.
This is just the beginning of me talking about how magical girls changed my life for the better. I know, it sounds a little nerdy, but many of these things we see as children really shape how we view the world around us. I’ve had many a talk with submissive guys who were just all about superheroes, heroic mythology, knights and Power Rangers growing up and they felt that was the best portrayal of that aspect of their personality, their interest in relationships. It was one of the areas where you saw men making noble sacrifices and giving service and not being seen as less of a man for it. The idea of masculinity has been becoming more and more narrow and in a destructive way. Another thing I need to talk with you guys about. There’s so much more than what is encouraged in modern society in the spectrum of what is masculine or feminine and how these ideas can fluctuate over time. I can’t believe I just restrained myself from linking TVTropes here talking about the common ideas of masculinity in the media. That’s for another day, sweeties. One thing at a time. I’ll be returning to this idea and that one at least a few times.
