New MP3 – General Hypnosis – Spa Relaxation

Got a new MP3 rolling out! I’ve had a couple requests for a general relaxation MP3 and this is my first one, well… First version anyway. ^_^ (And by a couple I actually mean a lot. Seems people like my voice for more than just sexy-fun!) Mjao has said he’d also like to give this particular session a try for recording himself! So you can keep on the lookout for that too.

Spa Relaxation (Version 1) – Short relaxation file, focusing on the idea of going to the spa and taking a minute in your own little world. ❤

Tsundere boys and girls

I was looking forward to being able to do a hypnosis session with My Experiment, but he was feeling rather distracted by work stuff. I felt a bit worried, since yeah, he can be aloof but he just had this tension in how he was carrying himself. He wasn’t in the right state of mind to even lay down and I know… I get concerned about people I care about easily. Sometimes tells me I may have come off as a bit peculiar today since I was telling him about some of the stuff that… I never really explained much about. I may have a little bit of a detached attitude about what occasionally may seem like they “grown up” thing to do since… I’ve had to let go of a lot of ideas I had that were literally killing me. (I’m not saying literally just to try and make a point of emphasis like so many people do. I actually mean my health was failing from the stress and pressure I put on myself over things that should be normal, I suppose but… After several seizures, trips to the hospital and self-inflicted harm under the assumption that I was merely the accumulation of student debt attached to a degree that didn’t solve my problems… I knew something had to change, and that was me.) I don’t really like burdening people with that kind of information, sometimes it’s important, but it’s… Something that will have to be handled in its own time. There are more important things going on right now. I drew in his mini-notepad and asked him to draw… He said he can’t. That kind of statement doesn’t make as much sense to me. You don’t even need the ability to write to doodle. It’s so much easier than getting a thought into words.

He was able to lie down with me a moment and cuddle. He rather enjoyed his birthday present I made for him earlier this week: a basket of petit fours. I find a lot of joy in baking, it’s another one of those artforms I’m still learning. (I can make a tasty cake, I’m just not very good at decorating it.) It felt so nice being able to hold him, even though the air was a bit thick. After all this time I still don’t feel I know him as well as I’d like. He can be so busy that contact can seem fleeting. At times I’ll admit it would be a little weird to me, since… I’m a very overtly affectionate person and I swing back and forth between this cooing yet shy type of moe-blob to a… Napoleon-like hyper-femme mass of boiling sugar. Sometimes I think if I tell him some of the things that are going through my mind it’d leave him even more confused than normal. (He’s very cute when confused, but sometimes it can help to at least let somebody know what’s going on and where they stand.) There are a lot of things I’d like to be able share and do, but… It may not always be as practical to just call and say “You will take a weekend off. Mjao and I have $400 in Marriot gift certificates and I have a backpack filled with a random assortment of pervertables, a portable karaoke machine and free time!” Not that I think he may mind that type of an offer.

I know he can be a bit aloof, and that’s normal. Some things a not-so-great acquaintance had said in the past in conversation at the mention of having that kind of connection with somebody kinda’… Dig into insecurities I may have due to the fact that… Everybody has some insecurity when dealing with other people at times. (Or if you’re very stressed about socializing… All the time.) I know those comments come from well… A hater, regardless of whether she’s a “professional” or not. Why should she be able to tell me that a man she’s never met should find me unworthy of his time because I’m not a fetish model and I’m more likely to wear a pink cardigan and play tease and denial trivia games rather than wearing leather and calling him a “worthless worm” and make him eat dog food? Logically I know it’s bullshit. He wouldn’t have come over or kept in touch if she were right. About anything, really.

Perhaps I could say he’s not quite so aloof… As I said, I still don’t feel that I know him as well as I’d like. There are so many things I do want to do and share, be able to try and and learn. He always seems more open when his clothes come off. That sounds so wrong! (Or so right? Hee!) I like having him as one of mine. Being able to tease him in texts, to taste the sweetness of his skin on his neck, trying to convince him that I did in fact destroy these cities he keeps supposedly visiting! (Why, yes. I did stomp San Francisco as a giant lobster while drunk. I even killed the whales! I destroyed the whole west coast in about an hour and 10 shots of vodka!) Letting out even the strange things from my head seem a bit odd at times since I know sometimes it just seems like regular ol’ insanity. “Let’s go to the arcade! Put this up your bum!” seems like sexy fun with a normal type of thing to it. Wanting to tease him (not just in a sexual way) and make him blush for the sake of knowing that I have that kind of control over his mind and body…. Or, yes, I find you totally humpable attractive and fun to be around. Mjao will always be #1 to me because he speaks my language in a way I don’t think anybody else ever could, and I want to learn more of your language too. I like having you as part of my life because I feel you’re a wonderful person. I don’t know if you’ll stumble on this, and some of it may sound silly, but I mean it. You’re a wonderful person, a grá, and I want to see more of you.

Ya’ know, I never thought of myself as kinky until…

So I went to a munch with my best friend last night to give My Experiment his birthday present and maybe talk up some new people (which I did). It was pretty cool, even though I felt a bit shy about meeting new people. I know, that’s hard to believe for some friends and coworkers of mine since when I’m on you’d swear I’ve never met a stranger. I’m so glad that things didn’t work out like they have for those I know and some of my loved ones who’ve dealt with some right bullshit in the past that simply should not happen. (And thinking that some of it has really hurts my heart. Talking on that’s for a later date, though.) When I was talking with my friend is occurred to me that I didn’t really think of myself as “kinky” in the slightest before about mid-way through college. Growing up around otaku and theatre nerds, a lot of things people would consider “weird” was just normal to me. Tying up your boyfriend and teasing him a ton while you’re getting’ down? All girls do that, right? Sexy cake fight? That’s just the way a romantic evening can roll! What do you mean it’s not “normal” to play in jello and pretend you’re a goo girl? But it’s fun and tasty! I never was into the black leather look since it was very… Off the shelf Hot Topic rebellion for your sex life to me, but I could see some of the appeal. (My Experiment got adorable new leather pants. I totally see the appeal of those, but it could have something to do with him being just straight-up adorable!) But thinking on that and talking with the best person on the planet, she gave me a quote I HAVE to share!

“Seems that our culture’s concepts of sexuality have gotten more narrow and sex industry driven with access to the internet, well, that in concert with abstinence only education.”

– MorgueDweller

This is part of why she’s so awesome!

A Very Friendly Game of Cards

Let’s talk a little about how we play games in a sexy or romantic way with each other! I’ve had a couple people ask about that, and here are a few little card games and things that are pretty fun.

This first one is purely for sexy fun together and only takes the drawing of one card. Shuffle, pick out a card (or have them pick a card), you can make a card trick display of it if you like too… But you just need the one, since each card itself is a set of instructions for orgasm control. The number represented on the card (going from 1 to 13) is the number of edges your partner is to do. Red cards allow release at the end of the edges, black cards do not. There is a special exception or “challenge mode” for face cards (Jack, Queen & King) which you could go ahead and do them normally, or you could opt for the challenge! (Dun dun dun!) Which is getting to orgasm as many times as value of your face card. This could be done for an evening together or as something to play through the day together, so you’re thinking about each other and your game. I decided to do it one day just on the spur of a moment and it’s been a great source of fun since!

Another thing is using the scoring for a game of Gin Rummy as a way to track edges or orgasms (depending on your mood or desires for the game) won for a friendly game between a couple. You could do it in a group too. It’s just a small addition to a game of Rummy. The way you want to devise how orgasms/edges can be won depends on how you want to do it and your stamina. Such as 10 edges and 1 orgasm for a 100 point game win (1 edge per 10 points, 1 orgasm for each game won) may be good for some, but you can flex the numbers and amount of games played for your own tastes. (As you may with playing Gin Rummy in general.) Then again, another little note about this set up… I’ve been toying with the idea of adapting this to mah jonng, so I may be posting something about that in the future or if you have some suggestions go ahead and share them!

Now, I’d mentioned this in the past and I had some questions about making the games unfair… How do you cheat at cards for an orgasm control themed game? Well… Same way you’d normally cheat at cards. I don’t really cheat at cards myself, so… I wouldn’t necessarily encourage others to do so, but if you’re curious the resources are out there.

There are a lot of traditional games for cards, dice and stuff you can adapt for more intimate purposes! (Or even newer ones. I recently got my hands on Roll Domo Roll!) I’ll definitely be posting more about other games as time goes on. And even just a game without sexy results is a great way to bond with your loved ones! These ideas tend to pop up as we go through what seems like normal stuff because it helps us grow closer and open up to each other. Snuggle up and play games!

Playing with the background a bit and random thoughts

I know, if you were looking a bit more today… I was playing with the background. Changed back to the pink plaid for now. It’s just so cuddly and happy! As much as I love the color red it seems a little intense for the feel of the site right now. That and the vertical stripes I tried, they looked okay but I kept thinking about popcorn boxes.

I talked with MorgueDweller (my bff-est bff!)about some ideas I’ve had and requests I’ve been getting that kinda’ line up with those ideas. I won’t say what they are right now since it’s a little complicated to explain, but I’m surprised at just how much people need to hear a lot of things that we take for granted in day to day settings. This could be a very important thing to share if I get all the pieces to fit together in the right way. Also, I mentioned to her about how I’ve been wanting to throw a mixed company frilly slumber party. She thinks it’s totally awesome. Board games, movies, pillow fights, make up (even on the boys! ^.~) and Chinese food. (Especially wanting to do it since I now have my totally awesome portable karaoke machine! And a boozy French toast recipe to die for!) Mjao… He may be more afraid than anything else… Not so much the frilly hyperfemme-ness but…It always seems to devolve into drunk girls trying to hump the TV watching Dr. Who and spilling nailpolish… And vodka. Or god forbid: musicals!

Hypnosis Opinions and Thoughts

I’ve had a number of people asking about my opinions on hypnosis, so I figured I’d go ahead and talk a little about that for now. I am very aware it is not a cure all and I would never lie to somebody and say that it is. The best way I can think to describe it is getting into a relaxed and focused kinda’ zone to “chill out with a thought or two” as I’ve said to friends. Our minds have a lot of sway over the way we act, compare previously learned concepts, how our bodies feel and how we organize our day to day stuff. When people ask what it’s like to be in trance I’ll admit I give the normal answer of how many people go into trance doing day to day things like when you’re so zoned driving you go into that “road trance” or when you’re so into reading a book you tune out things around you. You can sorta’ place in certain ideas that you’re willing to with that relaxed state you’re not immediately thinking “Oh! Bullshit!” or something when you hear a suggestion or idea. (Well, not necessarily “Bullshit!” but part of that… “Oh, I couldn’t” or something like that works too.) Since… You’re focused and chill. You’re able to concentrate on feelings, ideas, take information to build upon concepts and be a bit more okay with notes in your “suggestion box” so long as they’re not too outside of what you’d be willing to consider. You can’t make somebody do anything truly against their will or morals. That does raise the “Bullshit!” flag. You can encourage somebody to do something that they may not always feel quite so brave to try or help link thoughts together which is fun in its own right.

I initially had looked at hypnosis for relaxation and helping to lift my mood while I was pretty frayed with what had been happening around me. I found that it had helped with the stress and some of the depression since… I’ll admit I have issues with depression and a lot of it tends to be a software problem and not a hardware problem. It helped me to relax and take the time to form those processes of “Hey, stop a sec, what you’re thinking is illogical and something somebody else said because they’re a cock.” (I know, such a kind way to put it, but… It’s true.) Being able to have that breathing space and listen to things that I did know where true but had difficulty accepting due to strained circumstances or fear.

So I started looking more into it and played a bit with my boyfriend, Mjao, finding ways to use certain connections to convey particular feelings and ideas. It was fun. I made a friend who was also cute and into romantically peculiar things, including hypnosis. I did mention to him I was also into it, but… So many “hypnodommes” are such… I think I said it best that the way they talk about their “power” makes Criss Angel look downright humble. Yeah, I could talk more about how I had been reading NLP books and stuff like that, but really the best thing I could think to do was just start using the images, concepts and my own thoughts and… Weave them together through the kind of emotional experience I wanted to share. I liked being able to synthesize my own thoughts together to guide my loved ones through an experience or give little notions here and there to keep me on their minds. Our minds do so much to generate their own abstractions, compare ideas, form new bonds between concepts bit by bit as you go from one well-traveled place to the next in your mind you start finding the lesser-known roads and taking note… You start forming that connection in your heart to sights, sounds, scents… Letting your imagination and perception of reality work together to create unique pieces of information and processes to your own critical thinking. (I don’t know if that’s coming off like another person evangelizing about “it’ll heal you!” or if that’s getting especially touchy-feely over the idea of looking to practice hypnosis as a means to more adequately communicate my love for people.)

I also love using my voice. I used to do musical theatre, voice over stuff and I stopped doing it when I went to college. After the years of ignoring it for what I assumed were more “grown up” things my voice just… Wasn’t as flexible. Even just speaking wasn’t the same! I got a new microphone and with the encouragement of Mjao and my cutie who I often refer to as “My Experiment”, my sister who also did voice over stuff with me… I decided… Why not? If I can just pick up a microphone and tell people how I feel like this… It’s worth doing.

I’ll split up a number of ideas I’m wanting to sorta’ throw out there. As I said, there are going to be a number of things that are sexual in nature, but I’ll admit I don’t intend on getting too bawdy about it without having something cheerful to share. (So far I’m trying to keep this work-safe enough.) There’s not enough happy-sexy out there! This is just as much about romance and stuff as it is about sex!

New MP3 – The Magician’s Assistant

It’s finally here! Sorry it took so long. Sometimes life gets in the way of our endeavors, but I think you may be pleased. It’s… Longer than the other ones I’ve done before. I did a private one for a friend that was almost as long, but that was a little bit of a present.  I’ve been getting a lot of questions about when this would be out and I FINALLY got to finish it! YAY! I’m excited, and actually a little nervous. Nervous about how it’ll be received on one hand and on the other… If it’s as well received as he previous two… How will I follow this one up? So now, I give to you The Magician’s Assistant!

Joy & Sorrow – Excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

To a few friends of mine, who I hope are able to read this today.

Joy and Sorrow

Then a woman said, “Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.”

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Write drunk, edit sober?

Although I didn’t get to write much when I was having drinks last night. I’ve had a number of pieces I’m writing out and I’m still trying to get them to the point where I’m happy with them. I’ve decided the next thing to be released should be the Magician’s Assistant fantasy. (Yay!) It’s just been kinda’ difficult trying to finish writing some pieces so they’re as fluid as the last couple.

Also, been pretty worried about one of you guys out there that I’ve been speaking with. A real sweetie who really needs some love and support. The connection’s been kinda’ weak, so I’ve been able to get in little posts here and there, so we replaced the router. Doing better with that now.

Mjao took the day off work to handle paperwork stuff for where somebody dented his car in the parking lot, sooo… We’ve spent a fair amount of time today. We made dinner together, although a bit late into the evening. It occurs to me that My Experiment’s birthday should be coming up this month and… I’m wondering what I should give or do for him. Something cute. Something very cute.

Soft Saturday Morning

Mjao’s asleep next to me and I’ve been working on a few special pieces for friends. I’m a bit excited since today we’re going to play D&D with some friends and afterward go see a comedy show. Yesterday I had this super fuzzy and warm feeling for a lot of the day. Mjao got home early from work, we picked up a few groceries and a pizza. We snuggled through a lot of the afternoon eating pizza and watching Gundam to kick off the weekend. I just had this thought in my head of how incredibly fortunate we are. It was wonderful!

I talked with a few of you guys during the evening and I’m rather pleased to see how many of you have such cool hobbies and interests aside from the obvious. I do need to check int getting the newest issue of Zatanna. It’s been so busy I haven’t had the chance yet! Yeah, I love her! She’s so awesome! I also have this fantasy about being a sexy, dominant stage magician so… I get a little bit of a “guilty pleasure” reading her comic too.

I’ll try and share a few samples of what’s upcoming a bit deeper into the weekend!